How Can We Not Take Revenge When Wronged?

(Please regard the picture with a sense of levity.)

We Christians know that we should:

• love one another (John 13:34),
  
• forgive one another (Matt 6:12)
• be kind and compassionate to one another (Eph 4:32), and
  
• not take revenge (Rom 12:19; Heb 10:30).
  

We are also encouraged to actively and pro-actively:

• honor others above ourselves (Rom 12:10),
  
• bear with one another (Eph 4:2),
  
• serve one another (Gal 5:13),
  
• carry each other's burdens (Gasl 6:2),
  
• spur one another toward love (Heb 10:24), and
  
• be gentle with others (Phil 4:5), etc.

The interesting thing about these verses is that we naturally and spontaneously apply these verses to others, rather than to ourselves. For instance, we might expect others to be ever gentle with us, rather than we ourselves practice the ever present graciousness and gentleness of Christ toward others.

Even in mild and mundane everyday circumstances of life we naturally default to self, rather than to God and to a meaningful heart-felt consideration of others. What then happens when we feel wronged, betrayed, lied to, gossiped about, disappointed or discouraged or unappreciated by others, unsupported or oppressed by others? How can we then practice the gentleness of Christ when we feel hurt and scratched and wounded by others?

I think that no one can just force themselves to be gentle with others, unless they have the spirit of gentleness within themselves. If one tries to be gentle with others when they are furiously upset in their hearts, their comical attempt at gentleness might be more traumatic and insulting than if they screamed at others like a mad man. Yet this can by no means ever justify anyone blowing up or lashing out at others.

How then can we not retaliate or react or take revenge when we feel wronged?

Here are some random reflections:

• "If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love. For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted." (Amy Carmichael)
• "For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." (Matt 12:34; NIV 2010)
• "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." (Matt 12:34; NIV 1984)
• "...every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit... Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." (Matt 7:17-20)

No one can change his or her own heart. Only the beauty and the grace and the graciousness of Christ can transform our hard hearts to be melted and transformed from within.

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