Forsaken (2024 Key Verse)

Found guilty as a criminal. 2023 began 2 weeks after 6 armed FBI agents came to my house unannounced at 7 am and hand-cuffed and arrested me. I was indicted and charged with serious offences of defrauding the U.S. government and committing health care fraud for an online job I did for 5 months in 2019. I reviewed charts of patients who had cancer or a family history of cancer to decide whether or not to order a genetic test. Unbeknownst to me, there was a fraud that involved labs and multiple marketing companies that targeted medicare recipients. I knew this only after my defense attorneys informed me. I was paid $26,800 while the lab billed Medicare for 9 million according to my indictment. In Aug, I went to trial. After 3 emotionally exhausting weeks 12 jurors found me guilty on one charge. On Feb 29, 2024, I will be sentenced and will receive prison time of up to 5 years and fines and forfeitures.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. 2023 was the worst year in my almost 7 decades of life. It never crossed my mind that I would ever be arrested, hand-cuffed, put in leg shackles, charged with serious offenses, found guilty as a criminal and sent to jail. It was not only emotionally draining, but in legal fees it financially depleted our savings significantly, which Christy painstakingly saved and invested over 4 decades of our marriage. With my sentencing there will be further costs in fees, fines, forfeitures and restitution. But...

2023 was strangely also the best of times. Can anything good or positive come from a depressing and devastating year that culminated in my guilty verdict in 2023? Here are some thoughts:

• At West Loop, I preached through the entire book of Acts, starting in 2022, that ended in July 2023 with Paul's 5 successive trials and his imprisonment in Rome. Then 2 weeks after finishing Acts my own trial began on Aug 15, which is our 42nd wedding anniversary and ended on the last day of August. Acts 20:24 has always resonated with me: "I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the good news (gospel) of God's grace." This is Paul's expression of his prodigal profligate life. More so than before, this must also be my attitude, as my purpose, motivation and trajectory of life does not change one iota when I go to prison.
• After my guilty verdict I read through Job, Ecceliastes and Psalms. I never thought I would cherish these Wisdom books, because of my cerebral, non-emotional disposition and expression. But it has become my primary reading source for prayer, memorization, strength, comfort and inspiration. In Job 1:9 Satan says, "Does Job fear God for nothing?" implying that Job fears God only because God has blessed him. I need to ask myself, "Do I fear God for God alone, or to receive blessings from God?" So far I've been blessed beyond measure in every possible way. Will I continue to fear God in 2024 when my life situation drastically changes?
• After my guilty verdict I preached only on Psalms:
• (Psalm 1-2) Happiness . To be happy and blessed meditate on Scripture day and night (Ps 1:2).
  
• (Psalm 73) Find Your Faltering Faith by not envying the rich and famous (Ps 73:2-3).
  
• (Psalm 38) An Unrelenting Undertow of Sorrow, mourning (Ps 38:6) and anguish (Ps 38:8). "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart" (Ps 13:2).
  
• (Psalm 51) I Know My Sin. Live with ongoing confession and repentance (Ps 51:3-4).
  
• (Psalm 22) Forsaken. Jesus' godforsakeness is able to save anyone, even I.
  

Thanksgiving:

• Thank God for my 8th grandchild, Elijah Athanasius, born on Aug 12, 3 days before my trial.
• Thank God for Christy suffering in sadness and sorrow with me throughout 2023.
• Thank God for the leadership of our WL elders, who have taken stewardship over the church.
• Thank God for John and Maria who have made our UIC BH a very nice and hospitable place.
• Thank God for all are multiple letters written to the judge on my behalf attesting to my character and requesting leniency during sentencing. This was my biggest unexpected pleasant surprise. Letters were written by: Jenny and signed off by all 10 West Loop elders and their spouses, 2 Chicago UBF elders, and personal letters by Taniesha, Maria Peace, Jennifer Rabchuk, Rhoel, Henry, Sarah Mina of the Philippines, Dr. Mark Yoon, Dr. John Armstrong and 2 long standing friends from Malaysia and Singapore: one medical school classmate and a high court judge whom I've known for 65 years since childhood. These letters touched my heart deeply. I thought to myself, "Wow, I guess people do love me!" and "These would be perfect eulogies for my funeral!" This is surely God's marvelous grace to me.
• Thank God for Christy's cooking because it will be far better than what I'll be eating in my next place of stay.
• Thank God for prompting me to take very seriously the 7 deadly sins as a result of my trial:
1. Lust. Seriously? I'm almost 70.
2. Gluttony. Thank God that I lost 15 lbs because of the stress of the trial.
3. Envy. I don't have to compare myself anymore with the rich and famous.
4. Greed. Losing over a million dollars twice in a lifetime is very good for my soul.
5. Sloth. I will not be able to waste time binge watching and internet surfing.
6. Wrath. Feeling continually sad and sorrowful helps dampen my anger over minor irritations.
7. Pride. The shame of a guilty verdict and prison helps to put me in the place I should always be in.

2024 key verse (KV).

• In 2022 my KV was "Be joyful always" (1 Th 5:16) and I was hand-cuffed, arrested and charged as a criminal.
• In 2023 my KV was "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Heb 13:5; Dt 31:6) and I was found guilty and became a convicted criminal.
• Likely, my 2024 KV is "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Ps 22:1). It is strangely a very encouraging and uniquely comforting verse for me. Why? Jesus died alone so that I'll never be alone. Jesus was forsaken so I can be forgiven. Jesus died horribly, so I can live courageously anywhere.

One Word: Because Jesus was forsaken, I will never be forsaken.

The greatest power and strength is not from those who overpower others, but from those who have power and yet refrain and restrain from using it.

We highlight the flaws and mistakes of those we don't like and disagree with, while we cover them up, minimize them or overlook them for those we like and agree with, or simply ignore them as though they don't exist.