Stay Single or Marry (1 Cor 7:36-40)

To Marry or Not to Marry (7:36-40)

To marry or not to marry that is the question. 7:36-40 bring the entire argument, including 7:1-24, to a conclusion. It is best to see 7:36-38 flowing directly out of 1 Cor 7:35, which brings to a specific conclusion the argument that began in 1 Cor 7:25. Thus 1 Cor 7:36 repeats what was said in 1 Cor 7:28 to the man who wants to get married, which is no sin. But for the man who settled the matter in his own mind, staying single is the thing to do (1 Cor 7:37). Both do well (1 Cor 7:38), although Paul's final preference is for celibacy--for the reasons given in 7:29-31 and 7:32-35, i.e., "because of the present crisis/distress" (1 Cor 7:26), yet marriage is not inferior or less spiritual.

If engaged and you want to marry, do as you want; it's no sin (1 Cor 7:36). To the Corinthian ascetics, consummating the marriage is inappropriate--unseemly or shameful or "not acting honorably" (1 Cor 7:36a) [or less spiritual or less holy] either for wanting to get married and have sexual relations (1 Cor 7:1), or for keeping the betrothed in limbo, making her situation very difficult. The ascetics may have filled him with anxiety (1 Cor 7:32) by their ascetic "noose" (1 Cor 7:35). They apparently have led him to believe that it may even be sin if he were to go through with it, which in turn has led to his anxiety and unseemly behavior toward his fiancee. Paul says, "Not so... let him marry. He does not sin."

The man who chooses not to marry also does the right thing (1 Cor 7:37) if:

1. he's settled the matter in his own mind
2. he's under no compulsion
3. he has authority/control over/concerning his own will

The ascetics were likely urging him not to marry--touch/have sexual relations with a woman (1 Cor 7:1). Paul agrees for the engaged man to remain as he is--i.e. single and celibate (1 Cor 7:38)--but not for their ascetic reasons but for the conditions he mentions (1 Cor 7:37). Hopefully, this man recognizes that he had the gift of celibacy (1 Cor 7:7) in so making up his own mind, and not because of the pressure from others--particularly the ascetics--in the church. So Paul's word to the man who takes his [Paul's] own position is that he must take control of his own actions and not be "under compulsion" either from the ascetics or from what Paul himself prefers which he has written which is to be celibate (1 Cor 7:7a, 8, 32, 38, 40). Hopefully, such a person recognizes that he has the gift of celibacy (1 Cor 7:7b) in so making up his own mind.

One who marries does well/right (1 Cor 7:38). Paul brings his argument as a whole and the preceding two verses to a conclusion (1 Cor 7:38). 7:38a--he does well/does right-- corresponds to 1 Cor 7:36 and 1 Cor 7:28a. 7:38b corresponds with a Cor 7:37 and summarizes what he has argued right along: Given the present situation/crisis/distress (1 Cor 7:26), "he who does not marry her does [even] better." But not because one situation is inherently "better" than the other. That is precisely what he has argued against throughout ch. 7. What is better [not to marry] is not because it is superior or holier but "because of the present crisis/distress/situation" (1 Cor 7:26). So at the end Paul has agreed, and disagreed, with the Corinthians in their letter. They prefer celibacy for "spiritual" reasons; Paul prefers it for pastoral and eschatological ones. But quite in contrast to them, he also affirms marriage. Indeed he does so strongly. Such a man [one who marries] "does well" (1 Cor 7:38a). 

Counsel for Wives and Widows (7:39–40). Paul's final word is for married women, which is not the perspective of 7:25-38, but of 7:1-24, where they were trying to dissolve their marriages. This appears therefore to function as a concluding word for both section--7:1-24 and 7:25-38. There's nothing substantively new to Paul's counsel. He reiterates what he previously said, with particular application to the wife. She's "bound as long as her husband lives" (1 Cor 7:39), i.e. no divorce (1 Cor 7:10, 13). This is Paul's reiteration of Jesus' own explicit instructions/command (Mk 10:9; Mt 19:6). As such it is a final word against divorce and remarriage. But she may remarry after his death if she wishes, but she's "more blessed" if she follows Paul's maxim of remaining as she is (1 Cor 7:8–9).

Remarry in the Lord (1 Cor 7:39b). Paul's closing summary focuses suggests that their letter may have explicitly targeted the problem of remarriage for widows. The marriage bond is in effect until "her husband dies" (1 Cor 7:39). After that, she has the same option as the man who wants to get married: "she is free to marry anyone she wishes," with full freedom to make her own choice, which is a perfectly valid option--with the only proviso that it should be "only in the Lord." To be "in the Lord" is to have one's life come under the eschatological view of existence outlined in 7:29-31. Such a woman lives from such a radically different perspective and value system from that of a pagan husband that a "mixed" marriage, where the "two become one," is simply unthinkable. If she becomes a believer after marriage, then she should maintain the marriage with the hope of sinning him to the Lord (7:12-16). But it makes no sense from Paul's perspective for one to marry a non-Christian once one is a Christian.

Remaining single is the better option (1 Cor 7:40). This final sentence essentially repeats the stance of the foregoing argument; only in this case the appeal is to her own happiness, without suggesting why that might be so, except that this is "my own opinion" (1 Cor 7:25). Yet Paul points out that his opinion is not without good backing, saying, "I think that I to have the Spirit of God" (1 Cor 7:40b).

You're not the only one who has wisdom and the Spirit. What's the tone of the intriguing final sentence (1 Cor 7:40)? It is one more jab at the Corinthian ascetics and pneumatics. Paul chides them throughout much of the letter for prideful claims about their special knowledge and possession of the Spirit. So, there's a little sting in this pronouncement: "[Oh, you think that your opinions about sex are given to you by the Spirit? Well,] I think that I too have the Spirit of God." Through ch. 7, Paul avoids confrontational rhetoric, but he ends their questions about sex and marriage with a pointed reminder that, if they're really interested in being guided by the Spirit, they'd do well to listen to his advice.

With this Paul brings the matters relating to marriage to a close. The argument as a whole has generally been against the Corinthian ideal of asceticism. Nevertheless, he agrees with the Corinthians that those who are now single, whether betrothed or widowed, are better off as they are. But since he disagrees with the theology that brought the Corinthians to their stance, he also affirms marriage over against their point of view. In ch. 8-10 Paul not only disagrees with their stance but also gives reasons for it, as well as the way they have used his own behavior against him.

Some REFLECTIONS for the church today where issues of sex, marriage, and divorce top the list of controversial problems.

1. Mutual submission in marriage. Paul's paradigm-shattering vision of marriage is a relationship of mutual submission to one another, each committed to meet the other's needs (1 Cor 7:3-4; Eph 5:21). This challenges the prevalent patriachal picture of the husband as master of the wife. It also challenges the prevalent picture of the sexual autonomy of each individual. Reflecting seriously on the implications of Paul's model for marriage requires reevaluation of many of our assumptions and habits. Today, as in 1st-century Corinth, the church unthinkingly absorbs many assumptions about sex and marriage from our culture—disseminated through TV, movies, magazines, self-help books. Grapple seriously with Paul's alternative vision to identify the false images of sex and marriage that surround us.
2. The purpose of sexual intercourse in marriage. A strange development in the history of Christian doctrine is the Roman Catholic Church's espousal of the nonbiblical idea that the purpose of marital intercourse is primarily for procreation. Nothing could be further from Paul's view. He never mentions procreation, but argues strongly that partners in marriage satisfy one another's desires. Take very seriously the reality and power of the sexual drive—and the danger of sin and self-deception. Paul says nothing about love and companionship, bearing and raising children; he was responding to their specific question. A good purpose of marriage is to provide sexual satisfaction for husband and wife together.
3. Divorce and remarriage. Paul affirms Jesus' strong prohibition of divorce—in Mk and Mt—that marriage is an aspect of Christian discipleship. The reconciling power of God's kingdom is where forgiveness and healing dissolves the alienation that leads to divorce. Marriage is serious as a binding covenant commitment. The love of God overcomes all faithlessness. But sadly members of the church may exercise their legal option of divorce. This does not exclude them from the fellowship of God's people; if anything, their need for the community will be even greater. With a believer marries an unbeliever, the church may need to exercise flexible moral discernment in cases not dealt with by Jesus. This has significant implications for the problem of remarriage after divorce. Paul doesn't say whether the believer whose unbelieving spouse chooses to separate is then free to remarry. (This is where Roman Catholic tradition has allowed remarriage.) That question remained on the agenda for their own discernment. If remarriage is allowable in that case, might there be others as well, such as in cases of abuse or abandonment of one spouse by the other? Paul and the gospels clearly excludes divorce and remarriage as a legal strategy for serial polygamy. But this still leaves many questions unresolved, and Paul's careful reflection about the issues addressed in 7:10–16 offers a model of how our thinking about such matters might proceed.
4. The power and lure of holiness. That the believing partner sanctifies the unbeliever (1 Cor 7:14) marks a revolution in religious consciousness, the same revolution that began when Jesus had table fellowship with sinners and tax collectors and prostitutes. The power of holiness is so encompassing that it can draw the unholy into its field of force and transform it. The hope of 1 Cor 7:16 is that the lure of holiness will be manifest through members of the community of faith in such a way that their unbelieving spouses will be drawn to the truth and love of God. The logic of this way of conceptualizing holiness can be extended to many situations other than marriage relationships; it suggests metaphorically a broader truth about the vocation of the church in the world.
5. Reflect on Paul's careful cautious tone. Elsewhere Paul makes unequivocal pronouncements (5:3–5; 6:1–8), but here he moves cautiously. He carefully distinguishes his own teachings and opinions from the command of Jesus and repeatedly invites them to the task of moral discernment. What does it mean for us to acknowledge as Scripture a text that says, "I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy" (1 Cor 7:25)? They're to make their own decision, and discern God's will. There's no packaged pronouncement, but an invitation to reflection. On some issues, he issues clear directives (1 Cor 7:2–4, 10–11, 39a), but on others he asks the church to exercise judgment and for individuals to discern their own calling. He models a welcome alternative to much contemporary debate in the church, which is often either dogmatism on one side or relativism on the other. Paul's ethical reflection is firm but open-textured. 
6. "I think that, in view of the present necessity, it is well for you to remain as you are" (1 Cor 7:26) [Hay's translation]. This refers to the eschatological sufferings that Paul expects to come upon the church. Another meaning fits the context better. The translation "impending crisis" (NRSV) is wrong. It refers to present, not future, events (1 Cor 3:22, the same word refers to "things present" in contrast to "things to come"). The noun is usually interpreted to refer to some sort of suffering or "crisis" (NRSV). The meaning of the word is "necessity" or "urgency." Paul uses the same word just a few paragraphs later: "[N]ecessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me if I do not preach the gospel!" (1 Cor 9:16, KJV). It seems probable that the "present necessity" (1 Cor 7:26) is the urgent imperative of proclaiming the gospel and doing the work of the Lord in the short time that remains (7:32–35). This explains more clearly why Paul regards celibacy as preferable to marriage: It frees the time and attention and energy of believers for the crucial work that is to be done in the precious short time before the parousia.
7. The dignity and value of singleness. One of the most important messages of this text for the church is that the single life has dignity and value before God. Most Protestant churches, historically in reaction against the Catholic imposition of mandatory clerical celibacy, have come to regard the unmarried state as aberrant and unhealthy. This tendency has been reinforced by powerful forces in popular culture that insinuate the idea that human wholeness is possible only through sexual relationships. But 1 Corinthians 7 insists that we take a serious look at it. Paul argues that for many it's better to remain unmarried—not because sex is dirty or wrong, but because the single life allows Christians the freedom and flexibility to serve God without distraction. This merits sustained reflection. Can Christians learn to think about their choices between marriage and singleness within the framework of the church's mission to carry the gospel to the world? Our conversation in the church about these matters would begin to pose a serious challenge to Western culture's frantic idolatry of sexual gratification as a primary end of human existence.

Reference:

1. Richard B. Hays. First Corinthians. Interpretation. A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching. 1997.
2. Gordon D. Fee. First Corinthians. The New International Commentary on the NT. 1987.
   
3. Richard B. Hays. The Moral Vision of the N.T. A Contemporary Introduction to N.T. Ethics. 1996.

Sermon Divisions: 

1. 7/12/20: Always Thank God (1:1-9) [1 Cor 1:4].  Cosmic Epic Calling [1 Cor 1:2].
2. 7/19/20: The Devil Divides, God Unites (1:10-17) [1 Cor 1:10]. All Agree. No Divisions. Perfect Unity.
3. 7/26/20: The Cross--God's Way--is Dumb (1:18-25) [1 Cor 1:18]. The Cross Stumbles. The Cross is like a Cop Out. Foolish Cross.
4. 8/2/20: What You Were, Who Christ Is (1:26-31) [1 Cor 1:26, 30]. The Necessity of Lack. No Boasting  [1 Cor 1:31].
5. 8/9/20: Nothing but Jesus (2:1-5) [1 Cor 2:2]. 
6. 8/16/20: Wise vs. Stupid (2:6-16) [1 Cor 2:6]. True Wisdom is Only for the Mature. The Mind of Christ [1 Cor 2:16].
7. 8/23/20: You're NOT Spiritual (3:1-4) [1 Cor 3:1].  Spiritual, Yet Not Spiritual.
8. 8/30/20: Merely Servants (3:5-9) [1 Cor 3:5]. Field Laborers.
9. 9/6/20: Build with Care or Be Destroyed (3:10-15, 16-17) [1 Cor 3:10-11]. God's Temple.   
10. 9/13/20: Deceived by Wisdom (3:18-23). All Belongs to Christ and God. Wisdom doesn't boast.
11. 9/20/20: When You Are Judged (4:1-5) [1 Cor 4:4]. Go Ahead...Judge Me!  Judged Only by God; Accountable Only to God.  Judging Others Blinds You.
12. 9/27/20: When You Are Scum (4:6-13) [1 Cor 4:13]. Become Scum. Puffed up Corinthians and Suffering Apostle amid Others' Boasting.
13. 10/4/20: Imitate Me (4:14-21) [1 Cor 4:19]. Fatherly Admonition. Final Warning to Boasters. Fatherly Admonition to Paul's Corinthian Children.
14. 10/11/20: Expel the Wicked Man (5:1-13) [1 Cor 5:13]. Drive out the wicked person from among you. [David, Daniel]
15. 10/18/20: You Were Washed in the Name (6:1-11) [1 Cor 6:11]. You will Judge the World [1 Cor 6:2]. I Say this to shame you [1 Cor 6:5]. [Christy Peace]
16. 10/25/20: Your Body is NOT Yours (6:12-20) [1 Cor 6:13]. Glorify God with Your Body. [Adrien]
17. 11/1/20: Sex in Marriage is a Good Thing (7:1-7). [Yohan] [Women, Wives, Wise West Loop Elders and Singles]
18. 11/8/20: No Divorce (7:8-16). [Angie]
19. 11/15/20: Remain as You Are (7:17-24). [Taniesha]
20. 11/22/20: An Eschatological Reason to Stay Single (7:25-31). [David, Daniel]
21. 11/29/20: An Urgent Imperative for Singles (7:32-35). [Sarah, Josh]
22. 12/6/20: Stay Single or Marry (7:36-40). [Noah, Jim]
23. 12/13/20: (8:1-13). [Rhoel]
24. 12/20/20: Defi
25. 12/27/20: Henry
26. 1/3/21: Tim